Like, why I'm so weak. Being a coward all the time. Pretending as if I'm okay. Say yes to all requests. The feeling of afraid of being rejected. To be left behind alone. Hiding my true self. Pretending to be someone that people will like.
WHAT HAPPENED TO ME. IT DRIVES ME CRAZY. I WONDER WILL I ABLE TO STAY SANE.
My words speak louder, better if no one know what I'm talking about. Why why why why. Meanwhile in contrary, I always say that I hate people who talk behind my back--like why don't they just talk it right in front of me, act all brave, say your thoughts, I'll hear it, let's find the solution together.
I also become someone who's always afraid towards thing. I doubt my thoughts, I doubt my decision. I doubt everything that can be doubted.
....alright, rolls back to study.
Mid term starts tomorrow until the end of March.
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