I don't know who you are..

but if you dare to take a peek, or screening my screen.
You'll pay the consequence.

Not that anyone will see, but I feel like I need to write this kind of thing.
Weird huh?

Anyway, I still fear the nightmare. idk whether I'll sleep or not.
But hey, I dreamed the nightmare like on 29, which means, it's passed 3 months already.
Wooooow.

I am dead tired.

Almost fall asleep in making the program book. Fffff----

Pageview

Eventho I said that no one ever visit nor read this blog, the fact is different.
*stares at pageview numbers*....

......................what is this.

I'm sick of myself.

Like, why I'm so weak. Being a coward all the time. Pretending as if I'm okay. Say yes to all requests. The feeling of afraid of being rejected. To be left behind alone. Hiding my true self. Pretending to be someone that people will like.

WHAT HAPPENED TO ME. IT DRIVES ME CRAZY. I WONDER WILL I ABLE TO STAY SANE.

My words speak louder, better if no one know what I'm talking about. Why why why why. Meanwhile in contrary, I always say that I hate people who talk behind my back--like why don't they just talk it right in front of me, act all brave, say your thoughts, I'll hear it, let's find the solution together. 

I also become someone who's always afraid towards thing. I doubt my thoughts, I doubt my decision. I doubt everything that can be doubted.

....alright, rolls back to study.
Mid term starts tomorrow until the end of March.

Kalo saia pernah nulis tentang Marsians, now it's time to write about Socrates--ian? #krik
well then, let's start!

1. Abi Rafdi ZhafariLagi-lagi, setelah lulus dari Mars, gw sekelas lagi sama orang ini. Wahahaha, haii Abi :Y ...sialnya sekarang dia jadi pinter banget, rajin, ranking 1, terus tinggi. Tapi tetep, ceking. Jayusnya nambah parah pula =)) Dan, dengan new ability: menggurita. Makin banyak cewek yg digosipin bareng abi, AMG. #cring
2. Ajeng Rachma FaridaBassist masyur. *eh* intinya, bagaikan artis, jadwal malamnya selalu sibuk dengan latihan musik di studionya sendiri ataupun bermain musik di acara-acara seperti festival iJazz dan lainnya. Mempunyai kelebihan akademis dalam bidang hitung-menghitung, tapi entah kenapa kalau yang namanya ekonomi pasti sekelas remed tak terkecuali dia. Oke, gurunya emang unik ding. Rambutnya tipis sekali, yang katanya merupakan faktor keturunan. Salah satu saingan akademis saia *u*)9
3. Alvian Bimo Syatya PutraStill, the eternal drummer of SDB. Walaupun sempat semi-vakum selama kelas 10, kembali lagi menapaki karir drummernya semenjak kelas 11. Mulai lebih aktif dan produktif terutama setelah lahirnya INERSIA (Band Socrates yang lahir gara2 lomba band di AKA. *krik*) Sejauh ini, skandal bertemakan 12.12.08 masihlah berlanjut, yang berdasarkan fakta yang tidak ada, jadi yasudalah =u= And yeah, he smokes regularly, and more often, I see, lately. Man, I hate guys who are smoking in such young age..I'm sort of...disappointed of you, man.
4. Eganio Topan YupawaPaling bawel, ngomong seenak jidat, pembully yang entah sadar apa ngga dia secara ga langsung udah menghina abis-abisan dan meludahi orang yang ngebantuin dia dalam akademis. Sincerely, I just hate any guy yang kayak cewek, apalagi yang ngelebih-lebihin cewek. =u=.............in my opinion, dia kalo face-to-face ga berani ngomong, banyak bener ngelesnya, giliran di grup atau apapun yang sifatnya jauh, wih berani dia bacot gede. Haduh mas, saia manggil anda mas apa mbak nih? Tapi enak sih, orang ini ligat juga kerjanya. Yes, I love ligat speed :> Bitch please, I really hate this person.
5. Hendrik Alif ArsandyCuti sekolah selama nyaris setahun dikarenakan sakit. Tapi dia patut diacungin jempol, karena walaupun sakit dia ga pengen keliatan lemah dpn orang-orang. Overall, he's kind, sort of mature, and easy going. Tengil, tapi masih hormat sama cewek. Kelakuannya masih cowok. I like your attitude, dude! 
6. ME HERE.
7. Kiki Della Putri Nothing much that can be said about this person but... Orang ini..misterius. *inglip* Sesama golongan A, sesama anak tunggal. Satu hal yang saya bingungkan adalah, gimana ceritanya dulu wali kelas kami bilang susah ngebedain kami--mirip katanya.  Dimana semua orang bisa liat jelas-jelas saya dan dia itu beda. Fffffuuu---- Karena memiliki situasi kehidupan yang sama, dia bisa mengerti rant geje saya lah U_U dia juga ngerti kalo saya perfeksionis akut--satu hal yang saia inget dari dia adalah;
   

   "..lo itu perfectionist peh, jadi jangan melakukan hal yang lo rasa lo ga sanggup. Pada akhirnya, lo cuma ngelukain diri lo sendiri, dan lo bakalan stress sendiri."

   Thanks, QuQ;;;........I'll always remember that.
8. M. Reza Azhar
   Dan saya selalu lupa huruf M di depan namanya itu kepanjangannya apaan. Diem, lucu, jayus. Nah lho. Gamer sejati, kelihatannya. Temen nge-gym-nya Abi nih, terus salah satu saingan akademis saya juga :B.....hey dude. One of people that I can talk to in class [beside the girls, ofc]

segini dulu, kalo mood nanti lanjut. 

14.10.2011

.............it's something banget. //shot
Basically, when I start my 2nd year in senior high, I've been busy with contests. And the LCT contest has successfully made me unable to concentrate to learn for the mid-term exams ._. As the result, I got the 3rd place in class. Damn. It. -______-

But at least I received sort of a good news! I joined poster contest of BKKBN (KB), and beyond my expectation, I passed the preliminary round, being the top 5 from 19 contestants! QuQ;; But to bad, on the final round, I didn't make it into 1st place :/ just because I forgot to draw the BKKBN logo fffffffuuu---- even the organization people keep saying that mine is really a poster and amazing. But since I forgot to draw the logo... well? .__.

And today, I just joined speech contest. The contest itself is a nationwide type, and for speech section, it consist 5 rounds. Preliminary 1, Preliminary 2 (with mystery box), Quarter Final, Semi Final, Grand Final. I hope that I can get in Quarter Final, or maybe I can got the best speaker title. Well said this is my 2nd speech contest lol. But the best thing today is, I can delivered my speech better than the last time.. So, wish me luck? #heplz 

10.07.2011

Vacation will be ended by tomorrow. WHA---- QAQ;;;; Seems like my vacation week is just really--short. Short. Short. I just spent a week went to HK, and another week to Jakarta. /shotshotshot

ngg.. so finally, I become an 11th grader now D': And I will turn to 16 by next month-- why I becoming that old this fast?!?! QmQ;;; anyway--

I just read something-- that somehow makes me feel something like jealousy or what. Idk recently I'm fulfilled by negative feelings. Previously, it was dilemma, and desperation, a needs to be a perfectionist, and emo things. Now it adds with jealousy. Please don't tell me that I'll start school by tomorrow within all of this negative things. I hope I can get rid of them by meeting my friends--or maybe some of them will just make me got more negatives.

Must back to work by now. = ^ = I have something to do, that must be done within 8 hours.